Tag Archives: Proper Behavior

Chinese Dining Etiquette

08/01/2013 Sean Upton-McLaughlin 2 Comments

When doing business in China, business meals and banquets are an important issue that cannot be ignored.

No matter whether you are meeting with a private business or the government, or whether you are doing business over dinner or attending a large banquet with multiple parties, the act of dining in China is a channel for conducting business deals, building relationships, and showing respect.

While the practices associated with dining in China may be strange or unknown to the average Western or non-Chinese businessperson, and dining customs may vary slightly from place to place, there exist several universal dining customs that the Western businessperson should be familiar with before venturing to China to conduct business.

Below are a few key issues to be aware of as you participate in business meals in China.

Seating Arrangements

The seating arrangements during a business dinner or banquet serve the purpose of denoting where a particular person exists in a hierarchy (business, society, family, or friends) and also clearly define how much respect or face that particular person is due.

Knowing and understanding this hierarchy can not only be useful to Westerners during the course of the banquet (e.g., who to toast first), but can also offer some insights into the internal dynamics and power structure of a Chinese company or government office.

As the saying goes, “if two people cannot even eat a single meal together, how will they be able to converse as like-minded fellows?” Thus the traditional significance of the word “eat” in Chinese often also indicates relationships between several people…..in China, if two parties must remain unrelated, even over a dinner table, it will be impossible to develop a deeper relationship. – Barbara Bian, General Manager

Aside from denoting hierarchy, seating arrangements also serve to give face to attendees, especially those who are guests of the host. When dining at a round table, the seat directly facing the door is generally reserved for the most important or high-level attendee.

The second-highest-level attendee sits to the left of the highest-level attendee, and the third-highest-level attendee sits to the right of the highest-level attendee. From there, the seating hierarchy will continue outward from the seat of the highest-level attendee, with left taking precedence over right when distance is equal.

Ordering and Eating

Generally, when attending a more formal dinner or banquet, ordering dishes is reserved for the host or someone from the host company as delegated by the leader.

However, is it also common for “Face” to be given to a guest or client by allowing the designated guest or client to order some or all of the dishes? In this event, it is recommended to choose something in the medium-price range, which all attendees are comfortable partaking in.

In the event that the menu is completely in Chinese or the guest or client is unfamiliar with the cuisine being served, it is acceptable to politely decline and allow/request a member of the host party to order.

Chinese cuisine is composed of meat and vegetarian dishes, as well as hot and cold dishes, with cold dishes being served before the hot. An average of one dish per attendee is usual; when mostly men are in attendance, more dishes can be ordered and with a larger percentage of meat; when more women are in attendance, it is suggested that the majority of dishes ordered be vegetarian or low in fat.

And when ordering, it is best not to ask or try to haggle about prices, even in jest, as this can give the impression of being stingy, a trait severely looked down upon.

Eating usually commences with a signal from the host and can be accompanied by a speech at more formal events. By and large, most Chinese banquet tables are round, seat eight to twelve people, and contain center turntables on which dishes are placed.

Although some dishes contain their own serving utensils, it is more common in China to use personal chopsticks to serve oneself, even at formal banquets. This does not violate any rules of etiquette. It is advised to wait until a dish is directly in front of you before serving yourself, and then only in relatively small amounts, as doing otherwise can give the impression of greediness.

Lastly, when dealing with pieces of meat that contain bones (there are no knives at most Chinese dinners and banquets), it is common, though not required, to place the entire piece in the mouth, chew until all meat is removed, and then place the bone on the plate.

Drinking and Toasting

Drinking during meals is common throughout Chinese dinners and banquets and has deep roots in Chinese history as a method of demonstrating respect.

Although this subject in its entirety is too extensive for this article, several general rules can be followed by Westerners doing business China:

Company leaders or the highest-ranking executive are the first to give and receive toasts (host and guest), after which the rest of the attendees can engage in toasting.
If you are a regular attendee, your first toast should be given to the highest-ranking person at the table (the person most deserving respect).
When delivering a toast, it is customary to stand and use both hands to hold your glass or cup.
Multiple attendees are allowed to deliver a toast to a single person (e.g., the CEO), but it is against the rules of etiquette for a single attendee to toast multiple attendees, unless the person delivering the toast is the highest-ranking attendee.
If drinking from a larger glass (e.g., for beer), use the right hand to hold the glass, with the left hand cushioning the bottom. Smaller glasses (e.g., shot glasses) should be grasped with both hands, one on either side.
When delivering a toast, it is respectful to dip the tip of your glass below that of the person you are toasting. If you are the leader of the host delegation, this is not required.
To give the proper amount of face and demonstrate your generosity, it is important to make sure you toast everyone at least once, starting with the highest-ranking attendees and moving down.
A toast should be accompanied by a few words or a short speech.

Advice for Westerners in China

Lastly, aside from the dining rules discussed above, there are also several cultural issues that Westerners should be aware of as they seek to build and develop relationships with their Chinese counterparts over meals:

First, on many occasions while dining in China, there will likely be at least some undercurrent with regard to building relationships.

And since Westerners may find that meetings and office environments in China are often the arenas of unclear communication and half-truths, it is therefore advisable, even necessary, to take advantage of meals (formal or otherwise) to get to know your business partners, friends, and acquaintances.

Details or facts that a Chinese businessperson may find inconvenient to mention in front of a boss or colleague may come forth more easily when combined with a filling meal, several beers, and an enjoyable time.

Second, as China becomes internationalized, business will conversely become more local, with much new business taking place in second-, third-, and fourth-tier cities.

The significance here is that, in contrast to the bustling metropolises of China’s Eastern seaboard, many Chinese businesspeople in the more local areas speak English and foreign languages to a lesser degree, and are less Westernized in how they conduct business.

Therefore, it is likely that developing guān xì over meals, as well as understanding the many complex dining rules and customs, will become even more important for Western businesspeople to understand.

And, remember that developing real guān xì has little to do with having a sharp business presentation, wearing a smart suit, working for a well-known firm, or being introduced by someone.

Those factors may get a deal done on one occasion, but be insufficient to convince your Chinese counterpart to engage in a long-term business relationship. Therefore, don’t neglect the importance of the Chinese customs and ideas of proper behavior with regard to dining, such as toasting, showing respect, or sitting in the proper places.

Yes, many Chinese people have indeed adapted to the Western way of doing things, but remember that to develop guān xì you must make your Chinese counterpart feel comfortable, not yourself.

More and more Chinese people are now studying Western methods…..however, the Chinese people’s tradition of emotional exchanges over a meal will continue to be preserved and maintained. – Jeff Zhang, General Manager

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If you or your organization is navigating China execution or cross-border alignment challenges, I work with teams on an embedded and remote basis. Reach out directly: Sean@SageSightConsulting.com

CULTURE BASICS, LIFE IN CHINA

Proper Character and Behavior in China

06/05/2013 Sean Upton-McLaughlin 10 Comments

One of the first things a Western businessperson may notice when they arrive in China is how different Chinese people act, talk, and behave when compared to the Western social and business environment.

These differences can not only cause confusion and delays but, in some cases, can destroy relationships and torpedo potential business deals. So what exactly are proper attitudes and behavior from a Chinese point of view? And why do the Chinese “refuse to change” to be more in line with what Westerners consider to be international standards of behavior?

Unlike Western culture, which has been actively evolving and changing for hundreds of years, Chinese culture has traditionally been much more static, inward-facing, and rooted in the past.

Traditional Chinese beliefs have also emphasized a person’s character, or Sù zhì (素质), which boils down to proper etiquette and the accepted way of behaving both in social and business situations.

In addition, Chinese people take great pride in their country and culture, and one reason that many Chinese may find it hard to adapt to the “Western way” of doing things is that many of the Chinese model forms of behavior are stark opposites of the social and behavioral standards held in the West. Some of the more common elements that make up the concept of Sùzhì include the following.

Moodesty and a Low Profile

Chinese people prefer modesty and keeping a low profile both regarding their own achievements and status as well as their interactions with others. Traditionally, in the course of polite conversation, Chinese people will downplay their own positions and achievements while emphasizing those of others.

Additionally, within society, family, work, and their own social circles, the average Chinese person will generally not attempt to make waves or to make themselves stand out overtly when compared to others. In practice, if a work-related project is successful, an employee will often not attempt to claim all the credit, instead deferring to the support given by the company and colleagues.

When praised by strangers or friends, an individual will often downplay an accomplishment or character trait. Those who are not as modest or prefer to claim their own accomplishments can be viewed as rude, proud, or braggarts.

Tact and Respect

Chinese people also place a strong emphasis on respecting the feelings of their friends, family, and colleagues, often by not directly refusing a request. Aside from respecting the feelings of whoever is being spoken to, speaking in a less direct, roundabout manner is also viewed as a proper way to comport oneself, and by talking in this manner one upholds the socially acceptable idea of how to behave as a cultured individual.

In practice, Chinese people will use a number of “filler-answers” to either buy time or to put off saying no directly, such as “perhaps,” “maybe,”’ “possibly,” and “I understand.” In many cases the word “no” may never actually be spoken by the first party, and it is left up to the second party to figure it out over the course of repeated maybes or unanswered correspondences.

Education and Knowledge

Level of education and related certifications have historically played an important role in defining China’s literary and leadership elite. In ancient China, passing the Imperial examinations not only allowed an individual to attain a high level of prestige in his hometown or city, but it also served as the main avenue for advancement in the Chinese bureaucracy.

In modern times, high-level educational degrees such as master’s degrees and Ph. D.s are highly valued in China, especially those from prestigious institutions. Job seekers feel the need to make themselves stand out by obtaining additional certifications. These highly educated individuals are, to a certain degre,e considered to be more knowledgeable and also afforded more respect.

Proper Etiquette

China (and Asia in general) has always possessed complex hierarchical societies, with many rules and customs aimed at demonstrating politeness and respect to superiors and elders. Forms of address, who one can talk to, where one must sit, and how one talks to others are all a part of proper social and workplace etiquette in China.

And despite the many different ideas and cultures that influence China’s youth and young white-collar workers in the modern era, decisions, by and large, are still made by the old guard, those who grew up either during the Cultural Revolution or during the rise of Communist China.

Chinese who either through ignorance or intent do not observe the proper etiquette and protocols will quickly find themselves viewed as difficult, uncultured, or annoyin,g and will find it hard to develop lasting relationships or gain advancement and recognition in their line of work.

Filial Piety

Another form of etiquette that takes a high level of prominence in Chinese society is filial piety, or how one respects and interacts with one’s elder family members. Ancient China long practiced ancestor worship, in which memorials to dead ancestors were displayed in a family temple, and obedience and respect were given chiefly to the eldest member of the household.

Today, Chinese children and young adults are almost always subject to the wishes of their parents, including where to go to school, what to study, what career to pursue, and who to marry. They are also expected to marry and have children by a certain date, and to a certain degree, engage in a lifestyle approved of by their parents. Chinese children who deviate from what is expected of them, while not subject to direct ostracism, are instead subject to steady pressure and critique to conform.

Dealing with Different Behavior and Attitudes in China

For Westerners in China, the types of behavior that are associated with the concept of Sùzhì, because they are so different from the culture most have grown up with, are both strange and confusing.

And while daunting at first, any Westerner visiting China should remember that many potential problems can be easily dealt with through patience, respect, and practice. For example, it is indeed possible to receive an answer to an important question despite the evasiveness of a Chinese counterpart. A change of phrasing or venue (i.e., one-on-one) along with polite pressing can, in many cases, yield results.

And while the modesty of Chinese businessmen can prevent them from quickly getting to the point, simple patience and a commitment to developing strong relationships can produce a positive outcome.

I think that Sù zhì is the sum of many different elements and concepts including: ethical standards, educational background, personal accomplishments, communication skills, professional aptitude and social skills. Individuals with a high level of Sù zhì will find it relatively easy to gain the acceptance and attention of their family, relatives, and friends and will be able to easily obtain a definite status and position within their own social circles. For example, an individual with high Sù zhì will be able to make more friends among their classmates and also be able to easily find more people to support him/her. At work an individual with high Sù zhì will be paid attention to more by their boss and meet with more opportunities to advance. – James Tan, Sales Manager

Although it’s true that Chinese businessmen often do not speak their minds or reveal their true intentions, the longer a Western businessman is in China, the easier Chinese facial expressions and body language are to read.

This can be complemented by relying on China-based local assistants, employees, and consultants to provide key insights and suggestions. By showing the patience needed to interact and immerse yourself in Chinese culture, one can gain the respect of Chinese business partners.

This also has the benefit of demonstrating insight into the Chinese point of view, which can go a long way to help a Western businessman gain face, build strong relationships, and demonstrate their own Sùzhì as well.