CULTURE BASICS

Chinese Dining Etiquette

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When doing business in China, business meals and banquets are an important issue that cannot be ignored.

No matter whether you are meeting with a private business or the government, or whether you are doing business over dinner or attending a large banquet with multiple parties, the act of dining in China is a channel for conducting business deals, building relationships, and showing respect.

While the practices associated with dining in China may be strange or unknown to the average Western or non-Chinese businessperson, and dining customs may vary slightly from place to place, there exist several universal dining customs that the Western businessperson should be familiar with before venturing to China to conduct business.

Below are a few key issues to be aware of as you participate in business meals in China.

Seating Arrangements 

The seating arrangements during a business dinner or banquet serve the purpose of denoting where a particular person exists in a hierarchy (business, society, family, or friends) and also clearly define how much respect or face that particular person is due.

Knowing and understanding this hierarchy can not only be useful to Westerners during the course of the banquet (e.g., who to toast first), but can also offer some insights into the internal dynamics and power structure of a Chinese company or government office.

As the saying goes, “if two people cannot even eat a single meal together, how will they be able to converse as like-minded fellows?” Thus the traditional significance of the word “eat” in Chinese often also indicates relationships between several people…..in China, if two parties must remain unrelated, even over a dinner table, it will be impossible to develop a deeper relationship. – Barbara Bian, General Manager

Aside from denoting hierarchy, seating arrangements also serve to give face to attendees, especially those who are guests of the host. When dining at a round table, the seat directly facing the door is generally reserved for the most important or high-level attendee.

The second-highest-level attendee sits to the left of the highest-level attendee, and the third-highest-level attendee sits to the right of the highest-level attendee. From there, the seating hierarchy will continue outward from the seat of the highest-level attendee, with left taking precedence over right when distance is equal.

Ordering and Eating 

Generally, when attending a more formal dinner or banquet, ordering dishes is reserved for the host or someone from the host company as delegated by the leader.

However, is it also common for “Face” to be given to a guest or client by allowing the designated guest or client to order some or all of the dishes? In this event, it is recommended to choose something in the medium-price range, which all attendees are comfortable partaking in.

In the event that the menu is completely in Chinese or the guest or client is unfamiliar with the cuisine being served, it is acceptable to politely decline and allow/request a member of the host party to order.

Chinese cuisine is composed of meat and vegetarian dishes, as well as hot and cold dishes, with cold dishes being served before the hot. An average of one dish per attendee is usual; when mostly men are in attendance, more dishes can be ordered and with a larger percentage of meat; when more women are in attendance, it is suggested that the majority of dishes ordered be vegetarian or low in fat.

And when ordering, it is best not to ask or try to haggle about prices, even in jest, as this can give the impression of being stingy, a trait severely looked down upon.

Eating usually commences with a signal from the host and can be accompanied by a speech at more formal events. By and large, most Chinese banquet tables are round, seat eight to twelve people, and contain center turntables on which dishes are placed.

Although some dishes contain their own serving utensils, it is more common in China to use personal chopsticks to serve oneself, even at formal banquets. This does not violate any rules of etiquette. It is advised to wait until a dish is directly in front of you before serving yourself, and then only in relatively small amounts, as doing otherwise can give the impression of greediness.

Lastly, when dealing with pieces of meat that contain bones (there are no knives at most Chinese dinners and banquets), it is common, though not required, to place the entire piece in the mouth, chew until all meat is removed, and then place the bone on the plate.

Drinking and Toasting 

Toasting in China

Drinking during meals is common throughout Chinese dinners and banquets and has deep roots in Chinese history as a method of demonstrating respect.

Although this subject in its entirety is too extensive for this article, several general rules can be followed by Westerners doing business China:

  1. Company leaders or the highest-ranking executive are the first to give and receive toasts (host and guest), after which the rest of the attendees can engage in toasting.
  2. If you are a regular attendee, your first toast should be given to the highest-ranking person at the table (the person most deserving respect).
  3. When delivering a toast, it is customary to stand and use both hands to hold your glass or cup.
  4. Multiple attendees are allowed to deliver a toast to a single person (e.g., the CEO), but it is against the rules of etiquette for a single attendee to toast multiple attendees, unless the person delivering the toast is the highest-ranking attendee.
  5. If drinking from a larger glass (e.g., for beer), use the right hand to hold the glass, with the left hand cushioning the bottom. Smaller glasses (e.g., shot glasses) should be grasped with both hands, one on either side.
  6. When delivering a toast, it is respectful to dip the tip of your glass below that of the person you are toasting. If you are the leader of the host delegation, this is not required.
  7. To give the proper amount of face and demonstrate your generosity, it is important to make sure you toast everyone at least once, starting with the highest-ranking attendees and moving down.
  8. A toast should be accompanied by a few words or a short speech.

 Advice for Westerners in China

Lastly, aside from the dining rules discussed above, there are also several cultural issues that Westerners should be aware of as they seek to build and develop relationships with their Chinese counterparts over meals:

Read More About Chinese Baijiu (Click Here)

First, on many occasions while dining in China, there will likely be at least some undercurrent with regard to building relationships. 

And since Westerners may find that meetings and office environments in China are often the arenas of unclear communication and half-truths, it is therefore advisable, even necessary, to take advantage of meals (formal or otherwise) to get to know your business partners, friends, and acquaintances.

Details or facts that a Chinese businessperson may find inconvenient to mention in front of a boss or colleague may come forth more easily when combined with a filling meal, several beers, and an enjoyable time.

Second, as China becomes internationalized, business will conversely become more local, with much new business taking place in second-, third-, and fourth-tier cities.

The significance here is that, in contrast to the bustling metropolises of China’s Eastern seaboard, many Chinese businesspeople in the more local areas speak English and foreign languages to a lesser degree, and are less Westernized in how they conduct business.

Therefore, it is likely that developing guān xì over meals, as well as understanding the many complex dining rules and customs, will become even more important for Western businesspeople to understand.

And, remember that developing real guān xì has little to do with having a sharp business presentation, wearing a smart suit, working for a well-known firm, or being introduced by someone.

Those factors may get a deal done on one occasion,  but be insufficient to convince your Chinese counterpart to engage in a long-term business relationship. Therefore, don’t neglect the importance of the Chinese customs and ideas of proper behavior with regard to dining, such as toasting, showing respect, or sitting in the proper places.

Yes, many Chinese people have indeed adapted to the Western way of doing things, but remember that to develop guān xì you must make your Chinese counterpart feel comfortable, not yourself.

More and more Chinese people are now studying Western methods…..however, the Chinese people’s tradition of emotional exchanges over a meal will continue to be preserved and maintained. – Jeff Zhang, General Manager

If you’re interested in thoughtful perspectives on China, cross-border work, and how culture, incentives, and organizations shape real outcomes, you’re welcome to subscribe to China Culture Corner and receive future posts by email.

I also share related ideas and longer-form video commentary on LinkedIn and YouTube, and post updates across the channels linked above.

If you or your organization is navigating China execution or cross-border alignment challenges, I work with teams on an embedded and remote basis. Reach out directly: Sean@SageSightConsulting.com

 

CULTURE BASICS

The Significance of Family in China

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Many challenges await the Western businessperson in China, but one factor that may escape immediate notice is the significance of the Chinese family.

While family in China is primarily a social issue, its centrality within Chinese everyday life, as well as the changes and pressures forced upon it by the rapid rise of the Chinese economy, often creates an inescapable impact on businesses in China.

Why are Chinese employees more likely to resign after the New Year holiday than at other times of the year? Why are Chinese employees passive and not prone to taking the initiative? Why do Chinese employees seem to feel an inordinate amount of pressure?

Understanding these issues and the role of the family in China can help Western businesses to better manage their operations in China as well as maintain better relationships with their employees.

The History of Family in China

The family has long been a key component within Chinese society, and many aspects of Chinese life can be tied to honoring one’s parents or ancestors.

In fact, the majority of the “five relationships” espoused by Confucius were directly centered on the family. Due to this focus on the family, it was common for the Chinese, even when fully grown with children of their own, to not only remain in or close to their hometown, but also have many, if not all, living generations of a family living under the same roof (sì shì tóng táng; 四世同堂).

Chinese who may have done business far from home, or may have been appointed to government posts far away, would normally have found time to return home regularly, giving rise to the popular Chinese saying: “falling leaves returning to the root of the tree that sired them.” 

The concept of family in China was so important that it was one of the few moral and ideological concepts to survive the decade-long turmoil and chaos of the Cultural Revolution relatively unscathed. While many Chinese elders lament the fact that young adults born in the 1980’s or later possess no clear moral compass or strong standards of behavior, no one in China has forgotten the importance of family.

The Chinese Family Structure

The Chinese family structure has traditionally been rigid and hierarchical, with elders still receiving the largest degree of reverence, respect, and obedience, a practice that has continued into the modern age.

And while Confucius may have preached that showing respect and filial piety to one’s elders did in no way require blind obedience, in actual practice throughout Chinese history and today, many parents and grandparents expect their children/grandchildren to do as they are told.

Within the traditional Chinese family structure, each family member has a specific form of address in Chinese, with different forms of address for an older and younger brother, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandfathers, and grandmothers, on both the maternal and paternal sides of a family.

And while this naturally can appear complicated to the uninitiated Westerner, in fact, it was and is incredibly important to the Chinese family structure.

A significant aspect of life in the Chinese family is showing the proper amount of respect to the appropriate members of the family. For example, a father’s elder brother will accordingly rank higher than his younger brother, and there exist separate terms to differentiate the two, to both members of the family as well as to outsiders.

And these terms also offer insight into the position of a girl within the traditional Chinese family unit. Many of the terms for family members on the maternal side of the family begin with the character “Wài (外),” literally meaning “outside, ” indicative of the fact that Chinese women, even after marrying into a new home, were still considered to be outsiders.

China’s Rapid Economic Growth and Working Away from Home

In the new China, the Chinese family faces many challenges and contradictions to the old way of life that threaten its traditional stability.

As China’s economy continues to grow and expand, many young and seasonal workers have been drawn to the bigger cities in the more prosperous regions of China. They come to find better jobs and more money, in many cases sending much of what they earn to their families, who may reside in small towns where income is very low.

But as Chinese young adults enter their late twenties, they come under increasing pressure from family to marry, have children, and settle down, which, much of the time, requires moving back home.

Also, unlike Westerners, many young Chinese have a hard time away from home and do not do well alone and on their own. Every year as the Spring Festival rolls around, almost all Chinese living away from home begin the long and sometimes arduous journey back to their hometowns.

Free from the stress, loneliness, and toil of the big cities, it is not uncommon for young workers to decide abruptly to “take a break,” quickly giving notice (if at all) to their current employers, and it is common for workers to take off weeks or months at a time.

And while some Western employers may be prone to assume that their young employees lack loyalty, morals or good character, it is important to remember that family is the highest priority in China and trumps loyalty to all else.

The One-Child Policy

The situation with family in China is in some ways made worse by the Chinese One Child Policy, which was first implemented in the late 1970‘s.

The policy had previously allowed parents only one offspring, leading to an upset in the traditional structure of the family. Instead of the usual bottom-heavy structure, one child is now supported and brought up by two parents and four grandparents, resulting in an inordinate amount of attention and pressure placed upon the child.

With regards to the workplace, this can potentially have two negative side effects. First, with only one child available to succeed and support them in their old age (expected by parents in China), parents and grandparents will aim to be even more in control of their child.

In modern China, every aspect of a child’s life, including courses of study, careers, friends, and free time, is decided and managed by the parents and other relatives. When those children later enter the workplace, they generally not only have little to no experience thinking and making decisions on their own, but also as a result of a school system focused on memorization and diminished free-thinking, they have been specifically taught to avoid such things.

Second, under the sole focus and care of so many family members, Chinese children of the post-1980’s generation have acquired a reputation for being spoiled and self-centered, also known as the “Little Emperor Syndrome.”

One result is that young talent in China is more likely to become dissatisfied with their current employment. They are much more likely than their Western counterparts to switch jobs after short periods, chasing happiness or a larger paycheck.

What to Be Aware of as a Westerner

Westerners in China, unfamiliar with the Chinese family and the local talent market, can find themselves with workers that they don’t understand, an unproductive office staff, high turnover rates, and endless headaches.

However, with patience, the right mindset, and proper planning, the impact of these issues can be reduced. First of all, many young Chinese (and older ones as well) can indeed adapt to a “Western working model,” but it is unfair to immediately expect them to change their ways.

Remember that in a local Chinese company (or even among their own families), showing initiative, displaying individuality, or offering suggestions to managers will not only likely be ignored, but can also lead to workers being criticized or ostracized by their colleagues and managers.

It is important to be patient while these workers learn, and show that you are willing to listen to them on a consistent basis, and not just when it’s convenient.

Also, be ready for the likely event that not all workers will want to be managed in a Western manner. In this case, it’s important to acquaint oneself with the basic concepts of Chinese culture, and be sure to give them the proper amount of face and respect for a job well done, and not to take it away in front of others.

Concerning the high turnover rates you might experience around the time of the Chinese New Year, make sure to plan ahead and have potential candidates identified by HR early, before it’s too late.

And remember that a Chinese worker’s loyalty is to their family first; it’s not that they have no loyalty or have shoddy principles, that’s just the way the culture is. For a Western business or businessperson in China, in order to succeed, it’s important to learn and adapt.

If you’re interested in thoughtful perspectives on China, cross-border work, and how culture, incentives, and organizations shape real outcomes, you’re welcome to subscribe to China Culture Corner and receive future posts by email.

I also share related ideas and longer-form video commentary on LinkedIn and YouTube, and post updates across the channels linked above.

If you or your organization is navigating China execution or cross-border alignment challenges, I work with teams on an embedded and remote basis. Reach out directly: Sean@SageSightConsulting.com

 

CULTURE BASICS, LIFE IN CHINA

Proper Character and Behavior in China

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One of the first things a Western businessperson may notice when they arrive in China is how different Chinese people act, talk, and behave when compared to the Western social and business environment.

These differences can not only cause confusion and delays but, in some cases, can destroy relationships and torpedo potential business deals. So what exactly are proper attitudes and behavior from a Chinese point of view? And why do the Chinese “refuse to change” to be more in line with what Westerners consider to be international standards of behavior?

Unlike Western culture, which has been actively evolving and changing for hundreds of years, Chinese culture has traditionally been much more static, inward-facing, and rooted in the past.

Traditional Chinese beliefs have also emphasized a person’s character, or Sù zhì (素质), which boils down to proper etiquette and the accepted way of behaving both in social and business situations.

In addition, Chinese people take great pride in their country and culture, and one reason that many Chinese may find it hard to adapt to the “Western way” of doing things is that many of the Chinese model forms of behavior are stark opposites of the social and behavioral standards held in the West. Some of the more common elements that make up the concept of Sùzhì include the following.

Moodesty and a Low Profile

Chinese people prefer modesty and keeping a low profile both regarding their own achievements and status as well as their interactions with others. Traditionally, in the course of polite conversation, Chinese people will downplay their own positions and achievements while emphasizing those of others.

Additionally, within society, family, work, and their own social circles, the average Chinese person will generally not attempt to make waves or to make themselves stand out overtly when compared to others. In practice, if a work-related project is successful, an employee will often not attempt to claim all the credit, instead deferring to the support given by the company and colleagues.

When praised by strangers or friends, an individual will often downplay an accomplishment or character trait. Those who are not as modest or prefer to claim their own accomplishments can be viewed as rude, proud, or braggarts.

Tact and Respect

Chinese people also place a strong emphasis on respecting the feelings of their friends, family, and colleagues, often by not directly refusing a request. Aside from respecting the feelings of whoever is being spoken to, speaking in a less direct, roundabout manner is also viewed as a proper way to comport oneself, and by talking in this manner one upholds the socially acceptable idea of how to behave as a cultured individual.

In practice, Chinese people will use a number of “filler-answers” to either buy time or to put off saying no directly, such as “perhaps,” “maybe,”’ “possibly,” and “I understand.” In many cases the word “no” may never actually be spoken by the first party, and it is left up to the second party to figure it out over the course of repeated maybes or unanswered correspondences.

Education and Knowledge

Level of education and related certifications have historically played an important role in defining China’s literary and leadership elite. In ancient China, passing the Imperial examinations not only allowed an individual to attain a high level of prestige in his hometown or city, but it also served as the main avenue for advancement in the Chinese bureaucracy.

In modern times, high-level educational degrees such as master’s degrees and Ph. D.s are highly valued in China, especially those from prestigious institutions. Job seekers feel the need to make themselves stand out by obtaining additional certifications. These highly educated individuals are, to a certain degre,e considered to be more knowledgeable and also afforded more respect.

Proper Etiquette

China (and Asia in general) has always possessed complex hierarchical societies, with many rules and customs aimed at demonstrating politeness and respect to superiors and elders. Forms of address, who one can talk to, where one must sit, and how one talks to others are all a part of proper social and workplace etiquette in China.

And despite the many different ideas and cultures that influence China’s youth and young white-collar workers in the modern era, decisions, by and large, are still made by the old guard, those who grew up either during the Cultural Revolution or during the rise of Communist China.

Chinese who either through ignorance or intent do not observe the proper etiquette and protocols will quickly find themselves viewed as difficult, uncultured, or annoyin,g and will find it hard to develop lasting relationships or gain advancement and recognition in their line of work.

Filial Piety

Another form of etiquette that takes a high level of prominence in Chinese society is filial piety, or how one respects and interacts with one’s elder family members. Ancient China long practiced ancestor worship, in which memorials to dead ancestors were displayed in a family temple, and obedience and respect were given chiefly to the eldest member of the household.

Today, Chinese children and young adults are almost always subject to the wishes of their parents, including where to go to school, what to study, what career to pursue, and who to marry. They are also expected to marry and have children by a certain date, and to a certain degree, engage in a lifestyle approved of by their parents. Chinese children who deviate from what is expected of them, while not subject to direct ostracism, are instead subject to steady pressure and critique to conform.

Dealing with Different Behavior and Attitudes in China

For Westerners in China, the types of behavior that are associated with the concept of Sùzhì, because they are so different from the culture most have grown up with, are both strange and confusing.

And while daunting at first, any Westerner visiting China should remember that many potential problems can be easily dealt with through patience, respect, and practice. For example, it is indeed possible to receive an answer to an important question despite the evasiveness of a Chinese counterpart. A change of phrasing or venue (i.e., one-on-one) along with polite pressing can, in many cases, yield results.

And while the modesty of Chinese businessmen can prevent them from quickly getting to the point, simple patience and a commitment to developing strong relationships can produce a positive outcome.

I think that Sù zhì is the sum of many different elements and concepts including: ethical standards, educational background, personal accomplishments, communication skills, professional aptitude and social skills. Individuals with a high level of Sù zhì will find it relatively easy to gain the acceptance and attention of their family, relatives, and friends and will be able to easily obtain a definite status and position within their own social circles. For example, an individual with high Sù zhì will be able to make more friends among their classmates and also be able to easily find more people to support him/her. At work an individual with high Sù zhì will be paid attention to more by their boss and meet with more opportunities to advance. – James Tan, Sales Manager

Although it’s true that Chinese businessmen often do not speak their minds or reveal their true intentions, the longer a Western businessman is in China, the easier Chinese facial expressions and body language are to read.

This can be complemented by relying on China-based local assistants, employees, and consultants to provide key insights and suggestions.  By showing the patience needed to interact and immerse yourself in Chinese culture, one can gain the respect of Chinese business partners.

This also has the benefit of demonstrating insight into the Chinese point of view, which can go a long way to help a Western businessman gain face,  build strong relationships, and demonstrate their own Sùzhì as well.

If you’re interested in thoughtful perspectives on China, cross-border work, and how culture, incentives, and organizations shape real outcomes, you’re welcome to subscribe to China Culture Corner and receive future posts by email.

I also share related ideas and longer-form video commentary on LinkedIn and YouTube, and post updates across the channels linked above.

If you or your organization is navigating China execution or cross-border alignment challenges, I work with teams on an embedded and remote basis. Reach out directly: Sean@SageSightConsulting.com