Tag Archives: Vague Language

Saying “No” in China

01/27/2014 Sean Upton-McLaughlin 15 Comments

When doing business or living in China, it is inevitable that one will, from time to time, be forced to say no, to deny a request, or to offer criticism.

However, in Chinese society, which emphasizes respecting people’s Face and maintaining importantrelationships, saying no directly can lead to unintended problems.

As a rule, the Chinese are much more vague and indirect than Westerners. By understanding the different ways in which the Chinese indirectly refuse others, Western businesspeople in China will have several advantages.

First, when speaking with Chinese employees, superiors, friends, and family members, recognizing a vague refusal can lead to an earlier comprehension and reduce the potential danger caused by misinformation.

Second, understanding the Chinese indirect methods of refusal can allow Western businesspeople to apply them to their own conversations and negotiations with the Chinese. By saying no in the Chinese way, the feelings of the Chinese can be spared, allowing for a more effective working relationship.

Below, several common methods of saying “no” in China are presented for the education of interested Western businesspeople and travelers, so as to be more able to effectively communicate with the Chinese.

Express Embarrassment

One of the more common methods of saying no in China is to begin a refusal by expressing one’s own embarrassment at the situation. This is stated exaggeratedly, with the person saying no acting as if they are inconveniencing the person they are saying no to.

The goal here is to placate the person being spoken to and to give them an extra measure of respect to not cause them to lose face or feel unappreciated. This method might be used to avoid going to lunch with a coworker or declining to help a friend with a favor.

“Oh my gosh, I’m SO embarrassed! I completely forgot about having lunch with you today. I’ll definitely make it up to you tomorrow, ok?”

Be Roundabout and Vague

Another way to say no in China, without unduly offending a Chinese person, is by being roundabout and vague. In other words, this means not giving a direct reply. The Chinese often use terms such as “I’m not sure,” “maybe,” and “perhaps.”

In addition, other words that in Western cultures express assent or understanding can in China be used to be noncommittal. These include words such as “I understand,” “sure,” and “I know.” In practice, there are two ways vague language can be used in this regard.

First is when one does not want to damage the Face of a Chinese person. Second is when one wants to protect oneself from the negative consequences of overtly supporting or agreeing with another.

One example could be a manager who does not want to directly reject the idea of a subordinate and thus cause them to lose Face in front of coworkers. Using vague language can allow the manager to put the issue on hold until he or she is better prepared to handle it.

Make Excuses – You Need to Confer With Your Boss

A common method in the Chinese business community to say no (or aid in negotiations) is to pass the blame for making a decision to one’s boss or superior.

With this method of saying no, although a Chinese person might say no more directly than at other times, they, to a degree, are able to remove responsibility from themselves.

This method serves to protect the relationship between two people (e.g. salesman and a client) even when saying no directly is unavoidable.

In fact, it is common for small business owners to display a lower-level position (such as senior consultant or senior manager) on their business cards expressly for the purpose of using this tactic and allowing greater flexibility in negotiations.

Tell a “White Lie”

It’s important to remember that saving Face for the Chinese has little to do with the truth and everything to do with personal feelings and prestige.

The Chinese try to protect the Face of friends and coworkers by hiding the truth and replacing it with something less embarrassing or negative. For example, when an outing has been planned with friends or family, not attending because one “ doesn’t want to” would cause hurt feelings or anger.

It is much more acceptable to the Chinese way of thinking to claim that one has to work overtime to prevent hurting the feelings of a friend. Likewise, when unwilling to work overtime or attend a conference, a Chinese employee might tell their superior that their parents have fallen ill, and thus cannot attend.

“I’m sorry John, I just found out that my wife’s parents are coming to visit Shanghai this weekend. They expect me to show them around the city and I’m afraid I won’t be able to attend the conference with you. I really wanted to go with you but I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do.”

Put Things Off

One Chinese method of saying no, which causes misunderstandings for Western sales and business development professionals, is the Chinese tendency to put things on hold or to claim to be busy.

For example, when a Chinese company does not want to meet with a salesperson, it is common for the salesperson to be told to “call back in a few months.” In many cases, this simply means that the company is not interested in a meeting. In the above example, it is of course likely that the company doesn’t care about the Face of the salesperson; they would simply rather be indirect.

However, putting things on hold can also be used to try to preserve the feelings of a friend or coworker. If a good friend asks for a loan of a large amount of money, a Chinese person would likely rather try to put things on hold for a few months rather than embarrass their friend by saying no.

Offer a Positive before a Negative

When one has to say something less than positive to a subordinate, this method can be used to mitigate a potentially bad reaction. For example, if one needs to say no to an employee who asks for a promotion, it might be a good idea to first praise their hard work and their contributions to the team/company.

When it is necessary to criticize a certain area in an employee’s performance that needs to be improved, one can first highlight areas in which they excelled. In this manner, the employee’s Face and they will be less likely to feel humiliated in front of their coworkers.

Final Thoughts

Although Chinese people are not always politely indirect when speaking with one another, it is common enough behavior within the Chinese business and social environments to merit study by Westerners.

And while the actual practice of saying no appropriately does indeed take some practice, there are several key categories to saying no that the Western businessperson in China should try to remember. These are 1) padding the truth, 2) telling white lies, and 3) being roundabout and vague.

Taking heed of these three methods will allow Westerners to be more able to communicate effectively with the Chinese as well as to understand them more quickly and with less difficulty.

Lastly, while it is true that many Westerners may recognize some of the above methods for saying no from their own experience in Western society, there is an important distinction that one should understand.

While most Westerners may at times be vague and indirect, this is not the norm and usually clashes with Western society’s concepts regarding honesty and the truth. Chinese society is the opposite. To the Chinese, being vague and indirect is a part of everyday life, and it not only colors the way they offer refusals but also how they communicate in general.

If you’re interested in thoughtful perspectives on China, cross-border work, and how culture, incentives, and organizations shape real outcomes, you’re welcome to subscribe to China Culture Corner and receive future posts by email.

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If you or your organization is navigating China execution or cross-border alignment challenges, I work with teams on an embedded and remote basis. Reach out directly: Sean@SageSightConsulting.com

COMMUNICATION TIPS

Tips For Communicating With The Chinese, Part 2

10/20/2013 Sean Upton-McLaughlin 3 Comments

In an earlier post, I offered a general overview of several common elements in Chinese society (and the business environment) which will often influence how the Chinese communicate. These include concepts such as social harmony, giving or losing Face, maintaining relationships, and observing business and social hierarchies. However, knowing about these elements within Chinese culture is only half the battle. Understanding how to effectively communicate with the Chinese in spite of these potential difficulties and obstacles is also very important. In the following article, specific tips and advice are offered to the Western business person through extensive on-the-ground experience garnered by the author in Mainland China.

“Face-to-Face” Is Better in China

Despite the advances in telecommunications which allows calls and video chats from half the world away, the Chinese continue to prefer face-to-face conversations. This is very important in social circles and when conducting business, at which time Chinese relationship networks can hold a significant amount of influence. Holding a meeting or having a conversation face-to-face allows for more familiar conversation. Chinese business people when meeting in person enjoy a more amiable atmosphere which allow for the gift giving and compliments that facilitate the building and maintenance of personal relationships. For a Western business person, avoiding face-to-face meetings in the interest of saving time can result in some negative outcomes At best a Chinese worker or business person will be unable to develop a closer working relationship with a Westerner and as a result remain more at a distance from their needs and concerns. At worst, a Chinese person may feel insulted or annoyed which can damage the potential for future cooperation.

There is also another very real reason why Westerners would be advised to meet with Chinese business people face-to-face as often as they can. Many time when meeting in a Chinese business environment, meetings will take place in Mandarin Chinese or a local dialect, which most Westerners do not understand. When working with a translator, despite not understanding any Chinese, there are many signals that can be picked up through gestures and facial expressions with enough practice. But when holding a meeting through teleconferencing, the ability of the Western business person to spot these signals is lost. Thus, face-to-face meetings, when used correctly, can allow the Western business person to be more effective in managing partner relationships and negotiating deals.

Refusals are Best Given in Private

As mentioned in Part 1 of this series, Chinese place a lot of emphasis on respecting an individual’s Face and avoiding public embarrassment. And no matter whether you are a Western CEO, director, manager, or regular employee, this is a concept that cannot be ignored. To succeed in China it is vital to retain your key managers and employees, as well as to maintain good relations with partners and clients. This is made difficult by the fact that Chinese can be extremely sensitive to how they are perceived and treated by others. Unlike in Western countries a badly timed refusal or reprimand can burn bridges or cause employees to quit their job. Thus No Chinese employee wants to have an idea rejected in front of friends of colleagues by their supervisor as it can be interpreted as a slight (and lead to embarrassment or humiliation). By the same token, when dealing with a Chinese colleague who is your direct superior or higher in the corporate hierarchy, a Westerner should be careful to not to offer a direct refusal or criticism in front of other employees. Chinese leaders feel a they are due a great deal more respect and prestige than other employees, and some are used to never being wrong where their subordinates are concerned. The best strategy for when a refusal must be given is to attempt to offer as much cushioning to the person’s Face as possible. One way of accomplishing this is to talk in a private setting with no one else around your Chinese colleague might be more willing to listen. You can also try to be indirect in your refusal or make sure your refusal doesn’t state your boss as part of the reason (even if he or she is). It is all too easy to burn bridges colleagues, supervisors, clients and partners through losses of faces, even when it is unintentional. And while it can be a chore to dance around a Chinese business person’s Face in order not to insult them, in the long run it is a much safer bet to ensure a successful and worry-free (as much as can be expected) working environment.

Hierarchy & Harmony Can Create Complications

The emphasis on hierarchy and harmony in the Chinese business environment creates more distance between different levels in an organization as well as reducing the ability of Western managers and leaders to easily receive feedback from employees, and effectively communicate throughout all levels of an organization. When a Western business person wants to find out what managers and subordinates think, especially regarding an uncomfortable issue, it’s best not to do it in a formal setting with other employees present. One option is to pull them aside for an individual meeting, or assign that task to their direct supervisor. And while this isn’t a catch-all solution, it reduces the pressure the employee will feel and increase the chances of getting more honest feedback. And while training can indeed allow some Chinese employees to be more at home in a Western style work environment, it’s not a given. Many Chinese employees do, and will continue to prefer to be in an environment that contains traditional Chinese values. In light of this, Western managers can benefit from developing a strong team of managers and support staff, some of which should be familiar with both Chinese and Western methods, and thus able to act as a go-between.

When in Doubt, Follow Up with Specific Questions

It can be very frustrating for Westerners in China to be constantly met with vague answers and inconclusive feedback. In some cases an individual will simply not know the answer and will have been covering up that fact. In others, they will be trying to protect you (and they) from an answer you will likely not want to hear. First and foremost it is important to understand that in most cases this is not “lying” as Westerners know it; this is something that the Chinese have been taught to do (directly and by example) since a young age. Understanding and accepting this will allow you to withhold blame from your employees (a good first step) and focus on making them comfortable enough to give you the information you need. In the event that vague answers are received from employees, colleagues, or service providers, answers can sometimes be obtained by gently asking follow-up questions, or asking related questions to try to uncover the information that you need; getting straight answers is seldom easy but is less difficult if a Chinese person doesn’t feel embarrassed. When receiving vague answers about potential partnerships and meetings it is harder to judge, even to the Chinese, what is really going on. The easiest way to deal with this situation is to check back on a regular basis. If you keep getting the run around for more than a few months then the answer is most likely a no. Getting a direct response out of the Chinese is also something of an art form (which the author cannot claim to have completely mastered), but as with any art form the more practice, the better you will become.

Don’t Expect A Discussion In Formal Meetings

Business in China revolves around protocol and etiquette, especially on formal occasions. And while different organizations might indeed possess different cultures and personalities, larger Chinese organizations by and large focus on formality, and observing the proper etiquette and protocol. When a Chinese company or organization meets with another (e.g. a Western company), the key issues likely on the table are discussing pre-agreed upon topics, building or managing the relationship between the two organizations, or taking direction (e.g. from client to consultant). In this context, Chinese organizations and managers do not like to discuss controversial topics which hold the potential to cause loses of face or create an uncomfortable atmosphere. To have a conversations about details and specifics, wait until the after the meeting to discuss things in a more informal setting. Another option is to hold individual talks with your equal in a Chinese organization (e.g. manager to manager).

Don’t Forget That The Chinese Want Something Too

One thing that can be easy to forget amid the flowery and vague language used by the Chinese, is that there is very often a specific goal in mind during meetings and discussions. Yes, its true that the language used by the Chinese sounds undecided or noncommittal but don’t fool yourself, and certainly don’t let them fool you. The politician that says he needs a few more weeks to decide on a matter may have already decided against you; he is simply choosing not to refuse you directly either to save you face or to act in a manner he or she considers dignified. The Chinese businessman that is waffling over the details of a contract might actually have a specific change in mind, but is simply biding him time or is embarrassed to bring it up. Chinese leaders especially will often already have a firm opinion or course of action in mind; due to the specifics of Chinese organizational hierarchy many if not all of the key decisions come from the CEOs or equivalents with little or no actual discussions from subordinates. So make sure and pay attention; if you can discover what is is a Chinese businessman or politician actually wants, your job will be that much easier.

Thanks for reading!

Do you know any other ways in which one effectively communicate with the Chinese aside from those mentioned above? Do you have any additional problems or questions that the above points don’t address? Please feel free to post your thoughts to the comments section below.

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COMMUNICATION TIPS

Tips For Communicating With The Chinese, Part 1

09/24/2013 Sean Upton-McLaughlin 3 Comments

Aside from competency in the Chinese language, one of the more difficult (and important) aspects of communications with the Chinese stems from their tendency to speak in a vague and roundabout manner.

This can be a significant problem for Westerners, many of whom are accustomed to speaking in a direct manner with few, if any, hidden pretenses. This is an issue that cannot be lightly ignored by Westerners in China, especially those with the goal of founding or managing a business.

On one hand, in China, where tradition, respect, and social prestige all play an important role in business and society, it is not only necessary to clearly communicate your intent but also do so in a way that your counterpart finds acceptable.

On the other hand, if you are unable to comprehend what your employees, colleagues, and business partners’ true meanings and intents are, then you may find it very difficult to successfully manage a business in China.

In this article, several factors will be introduced that play a part in influencing the ways in which the Chinese speak and communicate. In a future article, various methods will be introduced on how to effectively communicate with the Chinese in spite of the potential obstacles discussed below.

Maintaining a Harmonious Environment

As a rule, both in business and on social occasions, most Chinese prefer to maintain a polite and harmonious environment to avoid offending both hosts and guests.

At formal business meetings, this desire to preserve harmony will often prevent dissension among meeting attendees, especially with regard to more junior employees (e.g., age or rank ).

Senior managers or executives lead these meetings with junior employees, normally toeing the line laid down by their superiors. In addition to the concept of harmony, these practices also relate to the Chinese interpretation of proper leadership methods.

Many Chinese leaders use a “do as I say” model of leadership and, in contrast to many Western corporations, rely much less on colleagues and subordinates for ideas and support. Thus, in many cases, meetings are used by managers and leaders to discuss agendas, hear reports and presentations, and issue instructions.

When meeting with other companies, organizations, and government agencies, the Chinese prefer to set specific agendas and prefer not to deviate in order to avoid surprises and potential embarrassment. Maintaining harmony is usually more important when there are more people present, or when there are people present of many different ranks or statuses.

Respecting Hierarchy

Hierarchy also factors into how the Chinese communicate. To the Chinese (as well as Asians in general), a person’s place in a given business or social hierarchy not only determines how others will and can speak to that person, but also the ways in which a person is allowed to speak to others.

For example, workers in China must generally phrase their words carefully when speaking to superiors, especially to those who are more traditionally minded. Speaking out of turn to a superior in China can lead to both poor treatment (e.g., being discriminated against or humiliated ) as well as reprisals (e.g,. being fired or passed over for a promotion).

Leaders and managers in Chinese companies by contrast, are much freer to speak their minds to subordinates. And while the concept hierarchy may seem similar to and have similar implications as the idea of a “harmonious environment” as explained above, there is a subtle difference.

Harmony comes into play when a group is gathered together or members of a company are meeting with representatives of another company. Hierarchy, in turn, determines what can and can’t be said, and to whom.

For example, in many cases, an employee simply cannot refuse the demand of a superior (tactfully in any case), or disagree with an idea, no matter the actual truth of the matter. If an employee’s manager “suggests” the employee attend a weekend trade fair or seminar, there is, in reality, very little wiggle room.

Another effect of hierarchy in China is that communication is usually smoother between individuals of the same level or rank. This is due to the fact that those of the same status have more in common and that there are no differences in rank to restrict communication.

For example, when arranging a meeting between two companies of relatively equal size, if the president of one company is attending, it is likewise expected that the other company’s president will attend.

From the Chinese point of view, the two presidents, as equals, will be able to communicate much more easily and clearly.

Avoiding Refusals & Paying Compliments

The concept of Face also plays a strong role in how the Chinese communicate. The Chinese prefer to avoid the negative and emphasize the positive.

When faced with a situation in which they have bad news, disagree with someone, or there is a need to refuse a request, the Chinese often will worry about causing a loss of Face. Most Chinese will go to great lengths to avoid this, especially when it pertains to someone the Chinese person in question cares about personally, professionally or someone who may have influence over their future.

The Chinese avoid potential losses of Face simply because it is judged to be the way a civilized person behaves. Depending on the specific situation, there are different ways that this can influence a conversation or dialogue.

First, the truth may be withheld completely, with the goal of either fixing the problem first or waiting until a later date to reveal the news (why get in trouble today, when you can put it off until tomorrow). Second, the truth may be marginalized by inferring that the situation is not as dire as it actually is. Third, with the intent to tell the truth, a Chinese person may often lead into an embarrassing topic with compliments, with the intent of easing the blow to a person’s Face, or allowing the other person to perceive that everything possible was done to prevent a loss of face.

The Chinese also do their utmost to give Face to people important to them in the form of giving compliments (and sometimes giving gifts). When dining together, Chinese businessmen routinely praise one another with compliments and toasts. Friends and family dining and interacting together also regularly use the occasion to pay respects and speak with one another in a friendly and lighthearted manner.

Gifts are given on many social and business occasions in China and are accompanied by words of goodwill meant to give Face to others. And just as bad news and refusals are avoided in order to avoid the loss of face, the kind words that the bad news or refusal is couched in are done so to give face.

Building & Maintaining Relationships

Building and maintaining relationships also influences how the Chinese communicate. Relationships are the web that holds Chinese society and social circles together, and in order to function properly, the Chinese must maintain relationships within companies, the family, and between friends.

Within a company, not only are employees bound by the rules of hierarchy, but they also must build relationships (especially in larger companies) to support their efforts to succeed on projects or receive promotions.

For example, a manager in a Chinese company must simultaneously manage relationships with subordinates, fellow managers, and superiors. This necessary management of these types of intra-company relationships requires the use of differing language and communication styles in order to be effective.

In companies with a focus on selling products or services, there is an even bigger focus on building and maintaining relationships with current and potential clients. Whenever they want to build a strong relationship, the Chinese need to demonstrate their desire for the relationship, which in many cases will entail gifts, compliments, and favors, and the effort to demonstrate a common cause or concern.

In some cases, when a sales manager fails to put in enough effort to “build the relationship,” which could mean treating the client to enough meals and drinks, the client in question might feel insulted or decide on another vendor or company.

The Non-Specific Nature of the Chinese Language

Aside from the cultural aspects of communication in China, there are also linguistic elements that must be considered. In the experience of the author, many words and phrases that are structured in Chinese, traditional and modern, are not as specific as their counterparts in Western languages (e.g., English).

Many words in Chinese have multiple definitions, and the same character can mean separate things in different contexts, as well as be pronounced in different ways. It is common in speeches, announcements and communications in China for more generalized speech to be used.

Westerners in China may observe language that appears uncertain and incorrectly assume that the lack of detail is deliberate. However, in China, it is important to have a clear understanding of context and allow for the tendency of language to be vague.

This concludes part one of “Tips for Communicating With The Chinese.” Stay tuned forpart two, where helpful tips are provided to assist Westerners, businessmen, and travelers alike, in their communications with the Chinese.