The Art of Giving Gifts in China

10/30/2013 Sean Upton-McLaughlin 34 Comments

Many Western businesspeople who come to China for the first time will likely observe the Chinese custom of giving gifts to friends, colleagues, and business partners.

However, it is also likely that these same business people will have trouble fully understanding why the Chinese give gifts and the rules of etiquette behind the practice of gift giving. When should a gift be given in China? What types of gifts are acceptable? And how is giving a gift different from giving a bribe?

In this article, the core concepts relating to giving gifts in China are explored to provide Western businesspeople with the relevant information they will need to successfully give gifts in China.

The Culture of Gift Giving

China possesses an ancient culture steeped in Confucianism— based largely on respect, relationships, and rituals—the purpose of which is maintaining harmony within one’s family, network of friends, colleagues, and society at large.

Gifts play a key role in this, as they allow the Chinese people to not only demonstrate their respect for elders and superiors but also allow them to show their commitment and enthusiasm toward maintaining close relationships with family and friends.

“Giving a gift is necessary to maintain relationships with clients and to maintain influence with government officials, otherwise it is very hard to sustain those relationships.” – Michael Qin, Manager

Gifts also play an important role when building new relationship networks with other business people. At work, gifts can be given at formal meetings with government officials, as well as when meeting with clients and prospective business partners. Outside of work, gifts are given on a wide variety of different occasions, including holidays, birthdays, and special events.

A more complex understanding of the concept of gift-giving does not just include gifts, but favors and other types of assistance or favors as well. While it’s true that a gift is just a gift, what is more important to the Chinese is the meaning behind the gift (e.g., your respect, commitment, devotion, etc.). Thus, in the Chinese business world, physical gifts are often intermixed with meals, karaoke, and compliments.

Acceptable Gifts

Many different types of gifts can be given to Chinese friends and business partners. First of all, a gift from your home country or region will almost always go over well; most Chinese do not have the opportunity to travel abroad, and therefore gifts from other countries, especially those that cannot be easily purchased in China, are highly valued.

Regional specialties are also good choices, both from within China and outside. Many local businessmen (not businesswomen) greatly enjoy smoking and drinking. Therefore, making a gift of alcohol or tobacco products from your home country will also be welcomed warmly.

Wine, cigarettes, or cigars from China are also acceptable, though it would be wise to choose a well-known brand with a more expensive price tag.

Other recommended gifts include fruits, food, and health supplements. Packs of nuts and seeds are common gifts in China, especially from outlying areas, and peaches are thought to increase longevity. Teas, especially rarer and older blends, are touted for their health benefits, and Chinese traditional health supplements are also welcome.

However, certain gifts can be (though not always in modern China) viewed as taboo and thus can potentially sour a budding friendship or business relationship.

Clocks (though not watches) should be avoided, as the word for clock in Chinese can be associated with death. Pears should be avoided, as the word for pear in Chinese sounds like the Chinese word for leaving or parting. Umbrellas also possess a phrasing that can be associated with the breaking up of a friendship or partnership, and are best not given as a formal gift.

Specifically for men, green hats are not a good choice as a gift – these have been historically given to husbands by unfaithful wives. When in doubt on gift ideas, you can also check with a Chinese friend or associate.

Courtesy and Reciprocity

The Chinese have a saying, “courtesy demands reciprocity” or Lǐ Shàng Wǎng Lái (礼尚往来), and it plays an important role within the context of giving gifts.

The relationship between two Chinese people is made stronger by acts such as friendly gestures, giving gifts, offering favors, and enjoying meals together. However, unlike some Western countries where the act of gift giving is more free spirited or casual, in China, to maintain an equal and harmonious relationship, a tally must be kept.

You need to be careful when using “Li Shang Wang Lai” in the workplace to ensure that it does not become bribery. If someone gives me a gift, but I feel that the value is too high, then I will refuse it. In my personal life, I always try to give more than is given, only thus being able to maintain consistent and harmonious relationships. – Samuel Hu, Deputy General Manager

For example, when a Chinese person is treated to dinner by a friend, it is expected that the kindness will be returned at a future date. When a Chinese couple receives a gift for their child from a friend, not only will they feel compelled to buy a gift for their friend’s child, but they will also take care to give a gift of at least an equal value to the one received.

If this balance is not kept among ordinary Chinese (e.g., one person constantly repays gifts with less expensive ones), then there is the potential for relations to sour. A person receiving lesser gifts from a friend may think the friend is stingy, while a poorer person unable to match the expensive gifts of a friend may feel a loss of Face.

Understanding this additional concept is invaluable in maintaining healthy long-term relationships with the Chinese, as well as allowing one to understand what gift values are appropriate at a certain time.

How Bribery is Different

At this point, it is important to observe a key difference between this type of gift-giving and the traditional bribe. The goal of a regular gift is to demonstrate your respect for an individual and your commitment to creating or maintaining a relationship. Giving the gift will not “seal the deal,” but not presenting a gift may make you appear impolite, uncultured, and lacking proper character.

In contrast, a bribe in China is often a specific sum of hard currency within a red envelope, known throughout China as a “Hongbao.” Hongbaos, while traditional gifts of spending money during the Chinese Lunar New Year, are also synonymous with a bribe in China’s business and political arenas.

Other common forms of bribery within China take the form of company stock, cuts of profits, and expensive gifts, such as cars and high-end electronics. Therefore, giving high-value gifts, even from the list of acceptable items above, can cause worry or embarrassment among the Chinese.

On one hand, an expensive gift can give the impression that a bribe is actually being offered. On the other hand, it may cause the intended recipient to worry that coworkers and superiors may view it as a bribe, which can be more damaging to the recipient in the long run. In contrast, with an actual bribe, an individual may demand (or expect) that “the gift” will lead to or ensure a specific desired outcome.

However, the exact difference between a “gift” and a “bribe” can remain unclear within the somewhat murky Chinese business environment, and it has not been uncommon in recent years for companies and government offices to set limits on the value of gifts that can be given or received.

Advice for Westerners

For the Westerner doing business in China, while it is not necessary to observe these practices as strictly as local Chinese may feel the need to, it is recommended to pay more attention to close Chinese friends, important business contacts, and anyone within the government bureaucracy who has the power to make your life or business difficult.

Before you leave on a business trip to China, make sure to stock up on local mementos from your hometown or home country. And before attending an important meeting in China, you may want to pick up a little something to show your respect.

Remember, giving a gift is not always a bribe in China, and most of the time, it is a method for building and maintaining a strong and mutually beneficial relationship. Thus, when in doubt, give a gift and smile while you do it.

If you’re interested in thoughtful perspectives on China, cross-border work, and how culture, incentives, and organizations shape real outcomes, you’re welcome to subscribe to China Culture Corner and receive future posts by email.

I also share related ideas and longer-form video commentary on LinkedIn and YouTube, and post updates across the channels linked above.

If you or your organization is navigating China execution or cross-border alignment challenges, I work with teams on an embedded and remote basis. Reach out directly: Sean@SageSightConsulting.com

COMMUNICATION TIPS

Tips For Communicating With The Chinese, Part 2

10/20/2013 Sean Upton-McLaughlin 3 Comments

In an earlier post, I offered a general overview of several common elements in Chinese society (and the business environment) which will often influence how the Chinese communicate. These include concepts such as social harmony, giving or losing Face, maintaining relationships, and observing business and social hierarchies. However, knowing about these elements within Chinese culture is only half the battle. Understanding how to effectively communicate with the Chinese in spite of these potential difficulties and obstacles is also very important. In the following article, specific tips and advice are offered to the Western business person through extensive on-the-ground experience garnered by the author in Mainland China.

“Face-to-Face” Is Better in China

Despite the advances in telecommunications which allows calls and video chats from half the world away, the Chinese continue to prefer face-to-face conversations. This is very important in social circles and when conducting business, at which time Chinese relationship networks can hold a significant amount of influence. Holding a meeting or having a conversation face-to-face allows for more familiar conversation. Chinese business people when meeting in person enjoy a more amiable atmosphere which allow for the gift giving and compliments that facilitate the building and maintenance of personal relationships. For a Western business person, avoiding face-to-face meetings in the interest of saving time can result in some negative outcomes At best a Chinese worker or business person will be unable to develop a closer working relationship with a Westerner and as a result remain more at a distance from their needs and concerns. At worst, a Chinese person may feel insulted or annoyed which can damage the potential for future cooperation.

There is also another very real reason why Westerners would be advised to meet with Chinese business people face-to-face as often as they can. Many time when meeting in a Chinese business environment, meetings will take place in Mandarin Chinese or a local dialect, which most Westerners do not understand. When working with a translator, despite not understanding any Chinese, there are many signals that can be picked up through gestures and facial expressions with enough practice. But when holding a meeting through teleconferencing, the ability of the Western business person to spot these signals is lost. Thus, face-to-face meetings, when used correctly, can allow the Western business person to be more effective in managing partner relationships and negotiating deals.

Refusals are Best Given in Private

As mentioned in Part 1 of this series, Chinese place a lot of emphasis on respecting an individual’s Face and avoiding public embarrassment. And no matter whether you are a Western CEO, director, manager, or regular employee, this is a concept that cannot be ignored. To succeed in China it is vital to retain your key managers and employees, as well as to maintain good relations with partners and clients. This is made difficult by the fact that Chinese can be extremely sensitive to how they are perceived and treated by others. Unlike in Western countries a badly timed refusal or reprimand can burn bridges or cause employees to quit their job. Thus No Chinese employee wants to have an idea rejected in front of friends of colleagues by their supervisor as it can be interpreted as a slight (and lead to embarrassment or humiliation). By the same token, when dealing with a Chinese colleague who is your direct superior or higher in the corporate hierarchy, a Westerner should be careful to not to offer a direct refusal or criticism in front of other employees. Chinese leaders feel a they are due a great deal more respect and prestige than other employees, and some are used to never being wrong where their subordinates are concerned. The best strategy for when a refusal must be given is to attempt to offer as much cushioning to the person’s Face as possible. One way of accomplishing this is to talk in a private setting with no one else around your Chinese colleague might be more willing to listen. You can also try to be indirect in your refusal or make sure your refusal doesn’t state your boss as part of the reason (even if he or she is). It is all too easy to burn bridges colleagues, supervisors, clients and partners through losses of faces, even when it is unintentional. And while it can be a chore to dance around a Chinese business person’s Face in order not to insult them, in the long run it is a much safer bet to ensure a successful and worry-free (as much as can be expected) working environment.

Hierarchy & Harmony Can Create Complications

The emphasis on hierarchy and harmony in the Chinese business environment creates more distance between different levels in an organization as well as reducing the ability of Western managers and leaders to easily receive feedback from employees, and effectively communicate throughout all levels of an organization. When a Western business person wants to find out what managers and subordinates think, especially regarding an uncomfortable issue, it’s best not to do it in a formal setting with other employees present. One option is to pull them aside for an individual meeting, or assign that task to their direct supervisor. And while this isn’t a catch-all solution, it reduces the pressure the employee will feel and increase the chances of getting more honest feedback. And while training can indeed allow some Chinese employees to be more at home in a Western style work environment, it’s not a given. Many Chinese employees do, and will continue to prefer to be in an environment that contains traditional Chinese values. In light of this, Western managers can benefit from developing a strong team of managers and support staff, some of which should be familiar with both Chinese and Western methods, and thus able to act as a go-between.

When in Doubt, Follow Up with Specific Questions

It can be very frustrating for Westerners in China to be constantly met with vague answers and inconclusive feedback. In some cases an individual will simply not know the answer and will have been covering up that fact. In others, they will be trying to protect you (and they) from an answer you will likely not want to hear. First and foremost it is important to understand that in most cases this is not “lying” as Westerners know it; this is something that the Chinese have been taught to do (directly and by example) since a young age. Understanding and accepting this will allow you to withhold blame from your employees (a good first step) and focus on making them comfortable enough to give you the information you need. In the event that vague answers are received from employees, colleagues, or service providers, answers can sometimes be obtained by gently asking follow-up questions, or asking related questions to try to uncover the information that you need; getting straight answers is seldom easy but is less difficult if a Chinese person doesn’t feel embarrassed. When receiving vague answers about potential partnerships and meetings it is harder to judge, even to the Chinese, what is really going on. The easiest way to deal with this situation is to check back on a regular basis. If you keep getting the run around for more than a few months then the answer is most likely a no. Getting a direct response out of the Chinese is also something of an art form (which the author cannot claim to have completely mastered), but as with any art form the more practice, the better you will become.

Don’t Expect A Discussion In Formal Meetings

Business in China revolves around protocol and etiquette, especially on formal occasions. And while different organizations might indeed possess different cultures and personalities, larger Chinese organizations by and large focus on formality, and observing the proper etiquette and protocol. When a Chinese company or organization meets with another (e.g. a Western company), the key issues likely on the table are discussing pre-agreed upon topics, building or managing the relationship between the two organizations, or taking direction (e.g. from client to consultant). In this context, Chinese organizations and managers do not like to discuss controversial topics which hold the potential to cause loses of face or create an uncomfortable atmosphere. To have a conversations about details and specifics, wait until the after the meeting to discuss things in a more informal setting. Another option is to hold individual talks with your equal in a Chinese organization (e.g. manager to manager).

Don’t Forget That The Chinese Want Something Too

One thing that can be easy to forget amid the flowery and vague language used by the Chinese, is that there is very often a specific goal in mind during meetings and discussions. Yes, its true that the language used by the Chinese sounds undecided or noncommittal but don’t fool yourself, and certainly don’t let them fool you. The politician that says he needs a few more weeks to decide on a matter may have already decided against you; he is simply choosing not to refuse you directly either to save you face or to act in a manner he or she considers dignified. The Chinese businessman that is waffling over the details of a contract might actually have a specific change in mind, but is simply biding him time or is embarrassed to bring it up. Chinese leaders especially will often already have a firm opinion or course of action in mind; due to the specifics of Chinese organizational hierarchy many if not all of the key decisions come from the CEOs or equivalents with little or no actual discussions from subordinates. So make sure and pay attention; if you can discover what is is a Chinese businessman or politician actually wants, your job will be that much easier.

Thanks for reading!

Do you know any other ways in which one effectively communicate with the Chinese aside from those mentioned above? Do you have any additional problems or questions that the above points don’t address? Please feel free to post your thoughts to the comments section below.

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CULTURE BASICS

What ‘Face’ Means in Chinese Business Culture

10/10/2013 Sean Upton-McLaughlin 51 Comments

Most Westerners who are planning to travel to China for business have almost certainly heard of the concept of “Face,” or Miàn Zi (面子). China’s more hierarchical society certainly places a great deal more emphasis on Face daily life, business, and politics.

However, it can be difficult for Westerners new to China to understand specific rules for Face in China, as well as the different contexts in which it should be used.

For example, what actions will cause someone to gain or lose Face? In what situations should Face be given? And how will Face affect your business and life in China?

In the following article, several of the basic points surrounding Face will be explained, which all Westerners need to be familiar with to succeed in China.

What is Face?

In China and much of Asia, Face represents a person’s reputation and feelings of prestige within multiple spheres, including the workplace, the family, personal friends, and society at large. The concept of Face can be understood more easily by breaking it down into three separate components: the individual view, the community view, and actions.

The Individual View:

This pertains to the amount of prestige individuals feel based on their accomplishments and the amount of respect they feel they are due based on their position and status, such as in a company or at home.

For example, in the modern Chinese economy, there are many opportunities to buy status symbols, which help a person gain prestige. And in China’s hierarchy-focused society, the respect a person is due (or felt due) is determined first by status relative to another person’s, not necessarily by personal achievements.

The Community View:

This pertains to the amount of respect individuals feel necessary to give to someone else based upon that person’s position or status, such as in business, the family unit, or within a group of friends.

For example, status in a Chinese family is divided by very distinct roles, with separate terms of address used for older and younger cousins, aunts, and uncles. Giving the same amount of respect to older and younger aunts or uncles could be viewed as a breach of etiquette.

Actions:

This pertains to the various activities that can cause an individual to gain or lose Face. Based upon one’s position relative to someone else, several different actions can be employed to either cause a loss or gain of Face.

In some cases, these actions might occur unintentionally or instead be used as a tactic to achieve a specific result. For example, giving someone Face (e.g., more than they might deserve) can be used to build relationships and influence decisions. Causing someone to lose Face could be used to reinforce one’s own authority and status, or pressure someone toward a desired action, such as quitting their job or fulfilling a promise.

Face and Business in China

Face can be very visible in the Chinese business environment and play an important role in inter- and intra-company communication, business negotiations, and the development and maintenance of relationships. In China, company hierarchy is much more important than in many Western countries.

Not only are leaders and managers placed on a higher pedestal, but the distinction between different levels of management is much clearer and more important. Chinese leaders and managers usually expect respect from their subordinates and, in some cases, expect to be obeyed without question, no matter the rationality or fairness behind a request.

Not obeying “the will” of a Chinese leader or manager does not give them the perceived necessary prestige they (and others) feel is deserved. Indeed, survival in a Chinese company depends on knowing one’s place, and Face plays a very important role in facilitating that function.

When Chinese businesspeople build relationships with one another, Face is very important. On one hand, relationships in China are built and maintained by giving Face and increasing the prestige of one’s friends and contacts.

With two business people of the same relative position or status, Face is often given and received equally and is the cement that holds a relationship together.

“To me, your “face” is your position and standing in the eyes of others, and it also has to do with the degree of respect you receive. Face can also be saved up over time and used to accomplish things later on. If you drove a fashionable or luxurious car to attend a friend’s party, then the majority of your friends would feel that you had face. Also, if you can achieve something through your personal contacts that others cannot through normal channels, you would also be thought to have face. You can gain face if you are praised by your boss, or if you accomplish a difficult task at work. However, if you greet others warmly at social events, but are met only with indifference, then you would lose face. Questioning someone’s ideas or opinion in a public setting would cause that person to lose face.”

– James Tan, Sales Manager

On the other hand, when a client relationship is established in China, the client more often than not receives more Face in the early stages of a relationship from the “seller.” Face must be given to the client to make them believe that the seller is worthy of their money and time. Sometimes giving Face to a contact entails simply words and compliments, though sometimes gifts are required and invitations to dinners, entertainment, or other social events.

To the Chinese, there is a natural order in society as well as business, and if one is unwilling or unable to show the proper amount of Face to those who feel they deserve it, then one will likely be judged to not have good character. This has the potential to wreck business deals and sour relationships, so with regard to the issue of Face, most Chinese businesspeople tread with care.

Examples of Gaining & Losing Face

Even after understanding the basic mechanics and uses of Face, it can be difficult to understand how the concept actually works in practice. Below, I have listed several specific examples of how giving and losing Face could play out in China.

Management: A Chinese company director is leading a team of researchers to complete a consulting project for a client. At the project’s end, the director’s subordinates successfully present their findings and reference and praise their superior’s role in managing and leading the project. The actions of the report being completed successfully, as well as being praised in front of the client, give Face to the director.

Family: A Chinese mother makes many efforts to give her child the opportunity for a good education, both through financial and emotional support. The result is that the child is accepted at a prestigious foreign university. Not only do the parents feel proud of their child’s achievements, but they also feel that they have gained Face through the child’s achievement.

Marriage: A young Chinese man is trying to find a woman to marry, but has met with no success. After reaching his early thirties, all of his close friends have already married, and some even have children. In light of his failure to marry when his family, friends, and society expect him to, he feels a significant internal loss of Face. In addition, the young man’s friends may look down on him due to his failure to marry, and hence give him less Face through their actions and words during social gatherings. These actions would then further compound the loss of Face.

Employment: A young Chinese woman is stuck in a stressful job with an abusive manager at a local Chinese company. Through no fault of her own, she is constantly blamed for her manager’s failings and shortsightedness. Through being berated daily in front of her coworkers, the young woman continuously feels she is losing Face. In the end, she feels she has lost so much Face that she cannot bear to face her coworkers and decides to quit her job.

Advice for Overseas Professionals

While Face sounds complicated – and it is – there’s no need to despair. First of all, foreigners are not always expected to adhere to the same exacting standards of respect and prestige as locals in China are.

The influx of Western culture into many of the larger Chinese coastal cities (and other more developed areas), along with greater numbers of local Chinese with experience dealing with Westerners, has led to more flexible interpretations of business and social etiquette.

Also, Chinese culture in and of itself has both liberal and conservative interpretations, even before China’s modernization. Just as there are highly conservative Chinese managers, executives, and leaders who demand respect be paid to them at all times, there are also Chinese who have a less formal attitude and focus on getting results over respect.

However, when the issue of Face cannot be avoided, several things should be kept in mind:

Whenever someone outranks you or is older than you, it’s probably a good time to show them more respect.
Don’t forget to give Face when you want something from someone in China (e.g., a business deal or a favor).
While giving face is always important, don’t forget to develop the relationship over the long-term.
Giving Face will always be appreciated, even from Chinese people who have a lot of experience interacting with Westerners. Face is deeply rooted in Chinese society and mindset, and its importance will not fade over time.

While it’s true that some Westerners protest that they won’t “play the game” while in China, it is important to remember that when you are in someone’s house, it’s only polite to play by their rules, or you may be asked to leave. While overseas professionals certainly might be given more leeway when it comes to the Chinese way of doing things

At the very least, small gestures of respect are easy and go a long way toward demonstrating that you understand the importance of Face (and are willing to make an effort to understand Chinese culture) and that you are committed to a long-term relationship with the Chinese. Something as simple as this can be a crucial factor that can land important business deals and lead to rewarding friendships that will last a lifetime.

Final Note for 2026

This article was originally written in 2013, and much time has passed since then, both in terms of my own career development and experience in China, as well as China’s development, both economically and socially.

While the above article can still act as a strong foundation to help overseas professionals and visitors understand the nuances of respect and relationships in China, it should also be noted that China is not a monolith. Cultural practices and social expectations can vary by province, industry, educational background, and personal style. Many Chinese professionals and managers are also more experienced with overseas management and working styles.

In using this article as a guide for a career in China, or merely a trip here, it is best to use this article as a base foundation, remembering to observe the behavior and preferences of those around you and adapt how you employ Face and respect, depending on the person and situation. Best of luck!