All posts by Sean Upton-McLaughlin

Sean is a business and communications professional based in Shenzhen, focused on China, culture, and cross-border work. His writing explores how language, incentives, and organizational structures shape real outcomes when Chinese and overseas teams work together.

5 Tips for Fun and Flexibility in China

Cultural conflicts are very common for expatriates, foreign students, and visitors in China. They are things that color the experiences of everyone, even ethnic Chinese who grew up overseas. However, while this is normal when visiting any foreign country, it often leads to negative experiences and results. When faced with conflicting viewpoints, concepts, behaviors, beliefs and customs, it is not uncommon for foreigners to get angry, become bitter, or simply give up.

With this in mind, I have put together several tips on how visitors to China can try to get over culture shock and acclimate to Chinese culture quicker, thereby gaining more enjoyment and knowledge from their stay.

  1. Don’t believe in stereotypes: Stereotypes about Chinese people are everywhere, largely driven by incomplete reporting in the media and biased accounts written by foreigners who have spent time in China. These descriptions view the Chinese people through a narrow and often backwards lens, and are never helpful. Once we view a single culture or people as being “only one way”, we lose our ability to view them as individuals and our fellow human beings. There is an old Chinese story which is particularly relevant here: Three blind men were placed in front of an elephant. One touched the trunk and thought it was a snake. One touched the leg and thought it was the trunk of a tree. The last man touched the tail and thought it was a rope. Each man was confident he knew what was in front of him, but in reality, each did not come close to truly understanding what the elephant was. Likewise, while stereotypes might reflect some aspects of China and its people, they also make true comprehension impossible.
  2. Don’t assume something is wrong with Chinese Culture: A common reaction to the difficulties of living and working in a foreign environment is defensiveness and blame. Specifically, I have heard many foreigners claim that Chinese culture is “wrong”, “backwards” or “bad”. And while this type of reaction may be natural, it also offers no help in adapting to a new environment. For example, the main problems I have personally faced in China involved specific individuals with bad attitudes, or my own failure to adapt. They had nothing to do with Chinese culture as a whole. It is important to remember that there are negative individuals in any culture or society, though culture shock can make it much more likely for foreigners to incorrectly remember such experiences as representative of the culture. It’s true that Mainland Chinese society may face certain developmental woes, but Chinese culture is rich, and there is much we all can learn, given the patience to do so.
  3.  Don’t assume you are the patient one: One thing that often strikes me is how easy it is for foreigners (including myself, on occasion) to become frustrated when communicating with Chinese locals. While this is of course a natural part of adapting to a foreign culture, my own experience shows that the Chinese people are often overwhelmingly polite and accommodating when trying to help a foreigner. Yet time and again, it’s also very common for foreigners to lose their temper and lash out verbally. I understand that foreigners can feel lost and confused in a foreign culture. However, being impolite doesn’t help solve problems, and it is also disrespectful to the Chinese, whose country we are visiting.
  4. Don’t object to personal questions: Personal questions are a big taboo for many foreigners, especially those from Western countries. However, there is literally no getting around this in China, as the Chinese are naturally curious about their foreign visitors, and often uneducated about what questions can make non-Chinese feel uncomfortable. Instead of taking such questions personally, I’ve found that it’s more helpful to prepare answers ahead of time, as these conversations can occur so often you often are simply repeating the same answers – just like small talk. For example, when asked for the umpteenth time whether or not I plan to marry a Chinese woman, I now always reply with, “I’ll leave it to Yuanfen (fate) to decide.” After this kind of reply, most Chinese people will give a knowing nod, and not press the subject any further.
  5. Don’t focus on your feelings; focus on getting results: After a long day of confusion and cultural conflicts, it’s very easy to get to the point where anything not from your own culture simply feels wrong. However, it’s best not to get bogged down in questions of right and wrong (culturally), and instead focus on the bigger picture. For example, if you are in China to sign an important contract, your end goal is much more important than the initial discomfort you may feel concerning drinking Baijiu or Chinese communication styles. Likewise, if you are living and working in China long-term, your end goal may be to learn about the Chinese language and culture, make money or simply enjoy life. In all these cases, trying to overcome cultural barriers, while potentially uncomfortable at first, will lead to a much more enjoyable stay, and make it easier for you to achieve your end goal.

Focus on Learning, Understanding and Adapting

Lastly, I’d like to emphasize that I in no way intend to make light of the bad experiences of other foreigners in China. Indeed, I have had my own share of bad experiences. Even the most localized foreigner will almost certainly have the odd off day in a foreign culture – that’s simply how our minds and the world work. However, I DO think is important to remember is that there are ways to compensate for the potential negative mental impact of living for a long time in a foreign environment, some of which I listed above.

While our journeys in or outside China may differ in their courses, I believe we can all benefit from a certain degree of humility and a willingness to compromise. Our goals, after all, are to enjoy life and work to the greatest extent possible, and I believe these goals can be best obtained by trying to learn more about the Chinese people, understand the reasons behind their behavior and adapting, whenever possible, to the nuances of local life.

 

Thanks for reading!

Do you have any questions about adapting to life in China or other countries? What has been your own experience adapting to Chinese culture? Do you have any other suggestions? Please feel free to post your thoughts in the comments section below.

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Grab Those Red Envelopes – On WeChat!

As I have touched on before, Red Envelopes (红包; hóng bāo) are an important part of Chinese holiday traditions.

Usually filled with a small amount of money, these envelopes are traditionally presented to young people during China’s Lunar New Year (also called the Spring Festival), and on other special occasions. In early 2016, I experienced gifting Red Envelopes in an entirely new way – through China’s booming social media app, WeChat.

In the following article, I’m excited to share this digital way to celebrate holidays and special occasions in China. Now, even more Chinese bank cards can be linked to WeChat’s online payment function without a Chinese ID card (previously a big problem for foreigners, including myself).

It’s now very easy for foreigners based in and visiting China to take part in this relatively new Chinese digital tradition.

The Basics of Red Envelopes on WeChat

How it works: There are different ways to gift a Red Envelope on WeChat. First, you have the choice of sending an individual envelope or a group envelope.

When sending an individual envelope, all you need to do is select a person and an amount of money. When sending a group envelope (to send to a group chat), you can select the number of recipients, the total amount of money, and how you want the money divided up between recipients (randomly or set amounts).

When the number of recipients is less than the number of members in a group, members will have to tap, or qiǎng, quickly if they want to receive a cash prize.

Use WeChat to send Red Envelopes
The Chinese concept of qiǎng (抢; to fight over, to grab, to rob): Qiǎng is an interesting concept in China. The character originally only meant to grab, rob or fight over something.

But in the commercial landscape of modern China, it has taken on a new meaning. When stores want to sell a limited number of products quickly (e.g., a promotion), everyone must move fast (both online and off) if they want to make a purchase. 

This is very similar to consumer shopping behavior during Black Friday in the USA (I can still remember sprinting through Walmart at the age of 13, a brand-new Nintendo 64 clutched to my chest). Qiǎng-ing, however, is much more common and quite popular in China. I’ve found almost universally that Chinese friends and colleagues prefer a limited number of envelopes in group chats.

After all, they will feel better if they win one of a limited number of prizes, and if they don’t grab one in time, they can always beg you (in China, it’s often considered cute among friends) to send out some more.

Sending and receiving Red Envelopes on WeChat can be a very exciting and rewarding experience, as I can attest from my own time with the app. On one hand, it’s like a fun game where you get to compete with friends to win small prizes.

On the other hand, it’s a very nice tool for gifting in China, especially for maintaining relationships with current friends and coworkers. For myself, especially as someone who has always felt more comfortable giving rather than receiving, I always feel compelled to send just one more envelope, simply because I enjoy it.

Advice on Getting Started

Start off small: First of all, unless you are familiar with the gifting habits of your friends or coworkers, it’s better to start small, especially as larger amounts could be embarrassing (for them) or misunderstood.

Anything from 10-50 RMB (equivalent to 1.5-7.8 USD) is likely fine for a casual friend or coworker. When gifting to a group, don’t give less than one RMB per person. It’s always easier to start small and work your way up based on what you see other people gifting.

You can maintain relationships in China via WeChat
Consider hierarchy: Despite the often relaxed atmosphere of gifting Red Envelopes on WeChat, I think it’s always important to remember hierarchy, which is more often important in China than in other countries.

For example, I have noticed that many people of a higher rank within a company are more willing to send bigger gifts, especially during special events (e.g., a New Year Banquet).

On the other hand, rank-and-file employees are usually content to play around with smaller amounts. To use myself as an example, while I consider myself to be among the rank and file, I am still more senior than many Chinese members of my department.

Therefore, I try to make a habit of gifting at least 50% more than my Chinese coworkers on a given occasion. I am also very wary of giving anything other than a small Red Envelope to a Chinese coworker clearly senior to me, especially if they are in a management position.

Remember the lucky number 8: Numbers also play an important part of giving gifts in China. As the number “8” is considered auspicious in Chinese culture, it would be a good idea to gift amounts that contain the digit.

These amounts could include 0.88, 8.88, 18,88, 28.88, and so on. Likewise, as the number “4” is unlucky in China (with a similar pronunciation to “death”), I would suggest avoiding the number when gifting on WeChat.

While it is true that Chinese people do not always proactively choose lucky numbers when gifting money, I believe that doing so it not only appreciated, but actively conveys a knowledge and appreciation of Chinese culture, which the Chinese are always happy to see.

Don’t be that one person who doesn’t gift: While no one should be pressured into participating in any practice they don’t agree with or feel comfortable with, it’s important to remember that courtesy demands reciprocity.

If you accept a Red Envelope (you can choose not to, and the gifter’s money will be refunded), it is only proper that you repay the courtesy. If a friend or coworker sends you an individual Red Envelope, you should probably send one back that day (if it is a specific holiday), or be sure to reciprocate on another occasion (if one is sent on your birthday, make sure to send the gifter a Red Envelope on their birthday).

If you choose to take part in Chinese cultural traditions (and you DO have a choice), make sure to give as much as you get.

Don’t forget to have fun: Last but not least, while I think it’s important to keep the above concepts and advice in the back of your mind when gifting Red Envelopes on WeChat, don’t be too serious!

As I have discovered, it is generally a fun experience so long as you give it a chance and view it as a new way to experience Chinese culture and interact with your Chinese friends and coworkers.

Happy Gifting!

I hope you all have enjoyed this introduction to gifting Red Envelopes on WeChat. While the above article applies to most scenarios involving Red Envelopes on WeChat, I would be happy to hear from others about their own experiences.

Also, as this is my first article dealing specifically with the tech sector in China, I would be happy to hear what readers think about possible future articles on tech in China.

Therefore, if you are interested in seeing more China tech articles, or if you have a specific tech subject that you would like me to introduce or comment on, please feel free to leave a comment below.


If you’re interested in thoughtful perspectives on China, cross-border work, and how culture, incentives, and organizations shape real outcomes, you’re welcome to subscribe to China Culture Corner and receive future posts by email.

I also share related ideas and longer-form video commentary on LinkedIn and YouTube, and post updates across the channels linked above.

If you or your organization is navigating China execution or cross-border alignment challenges, I work with teams on an embedded and remote basis. Reach out directly: Sean@SageSightConsulting.com

 

 

The Pull of the Cantonese Language

In previous articles on the Chinese language, I have focused exclusively on Mandarin (also called pǔ tōng huà, literally the “common tongue”). Today, Mandarin is the official language of life and business across China, from Shenzhen in the humid south, to Harbin in the frigid north, to Lhasa in the arid west. But other prominent dialects also exist, the most widely spoken of which is Cantonese. To learn more about this widely spoken dialect, which is an important part of southern Chinese culture, I recently sat down to talk with my friend and fellow sinophile, Jeremy Ryder.

Jeremy is a native of Perth Australia, and originally became interested in China after living in a multicultural Asian environment (Chinese, Cantonese, Malay, Hakka, etc.) while attending university. He has lived all over China, though more recently he has made his home in the Guangdong province, where Cantonese originated. As a Chinese-English translation professional, Jeremy has devoted a large amount of his time over the last six years to studying Cantonese and southern Chinese culture. 

China Culture Corner: What originally drew you to Cantonese?

Jeremy Ryder: The answer to this one goes back a long way. I had a life-changing period of about two years while attending Curtin University in Perth, where I found that all my flat mates spoke Chinese. Actually, only one of them was from China. The rest, along with their classmates and friends, were mainly ethnic Chinese from Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia. During these two years, and in particular the last six months we spent together, I experienced something I had never known existed.

I became like a family member to these guys. After my classes, I would ride my bike home as fast as I could and I just couldn’t wait to arrive. As I rode closer to the flat, I could hear them all speaking in Mandarin and Cantonese, and when I heard it I just loved it so much. I couldn’t understand a word they were saying but I just loved being around them. They would only explain what they were saying to me occasionally in simple English, and would even sometimes laugh or gossip about me without me being any the wiser until they all started looking at me and laughing their heads off. They shared their culture, their food, their time and their stories with me, and we had the time of our lives. I also took them around Western Australia, showing them the pristine beaches and wineries that we have down there.

Go to KTV to sing songs in CantoneseGetting back to your question, the Cantonese seed was really planted in my heart early on. These guys took me to underground Hong Kong-style KTV places and Chinese clubs at two in the morning, places that no normal Australian would even know existed. I was exposed to the language when I couldn’t even differentiate between Cantonese and Mandarin. I had to keep asking them “are you guys speaking Cantonese or Mandarin?” After a while, I got used to who spoke what but one thing was for sure: I did not know then that I was going to study Chinese or Cantonese. I was 18 and I had no idea whatsoever what would happen next. I thought I’d simply get a job, get married and just have a simple life. But, I did say to myself, at least 20 times during my last six months with them, “Jeremy, your life will never ever be the same again.”

For some people, it’s hard to understand. Though my parents have been very supportive about the whole thing. I know when most Australians hear that I came to China to learn Chinese they think it’s strange and don’t understand why. In short, the experience I had during university was magical and special and I could honestly write an entire book about it, but that’s the best way I can explain the special passion that I have for the Cantonese language. So, it was natural that one day I had to start learning it.

China Culture Corner: You have just now referred to Cantonese as a “language”, while it’s much more common in English to refer to it as a “dialect.” What distinction do you make on this?

Jeremy Ryder: Many of my Cantonese textbooks refer to Cantonese as a language and Cantonese is the official language of Hong Kong and Macau. Interestingly, when you speak Cantonese, the local people in Guangdong, whose mother tongue is Cantonese, will tell you “wow, your Chinese is pretty good.” In other words, to them, Cantonese is the Chinese language. From my personal experience in Australia, when people refer to the Chinese language, a lot of people respond and ask “Do you mean Mandarin or Cantonese?”

When I was at IBM, and I did an interview to work on a project in Suzhou, one of the interview questions was “So you’ve got no problem communicating with the local staff in Suzhou, do you? Do they speak Mandarin or Cantonese?” That showed me that some foreigners are not sure about which languages are spoken in which parts of China. For me, I consider Cantonese as a language due to the large population of native speakers all over the world, and the widespread influence of Cantonese speakers throughout history.

China Culture Corner: How did you start studying Cantonese? What were your first steps?

Learning Cantonese is a big time commitment Jeremy Ryder: The first step was making a decision in my heart that “I am going to do this.” And not only that, but I had to reaffirm the decision and be sure about it. Having Cantonese idols, such as my favorite, Sammi Cheng, made it even easier to get motivated and follow my passion before starting this “marathon.” I also gave up Japanese, which I had been encouraged to learn previously at IBM Shanghai, to allow myself to commit to Cantonese fully. Next, I asked a school, where I went to previously for the HSK exam, to find me a VIP Cantonese teacher and give me 100 hours of lessons within two weeks.

I then took two weeks off work to start learning Cantonese. I had a wonderful teacher from Foshan who then went on to teach me every week after our first 100 hours for about a year. He was very patient and I looked after him by paying him well, focusing on my studies and taking him out for nice meals. Unfortunately, he later moved abroad to study Spanish so I then found two other teachers. I went to all the bookshops in Shanghai and Guangzhou and bought every book on Cantonese, but I could only find about 30 books. The best books were written in Chinese, not English, though later I found a great Cantonese-English dictionary which I studied – all 600 pages – in six months.

My teacher at the time told me “if you really want to study Cantonese, move to Guangzhou.” So I moved to Guangzhou, but I ended up living in the wrong part, the Tianhe district, where a lot of people spoke Mandarin. Later, I moved down to Foshan. In Foshan, I found that 99.9999% of the time the only thing I could hear around me was Cantonese, and I fell in love with the place. It’s not the kind of place, such as Beijing or Shanghai, where foreigners are popular or a novelty. It’s quite the opposite. If you walk along the street for an hour, nobody will look at you or acknowledge you at all. I found it to be a very traditional and conservative Chinese style. But Foshan, and in particular Shunde, has really maintained traditional Cantonese culture.

China Culture Corner: What were your key difficulties learning Cantonese? How is it different from Mandarin?

Get out and explore Guangzhou to practice CantoneseJeremy Ryder: Cantonese is a very rich language, with more tones, making it harder to remember the correct pronunciation for each word. Cantonese is very colloquial and is constantly evolving. There are so many idioms and metaphors and there is so much slang to keep track of. The other thing is that there is a major lack of resources for studying Cantonese. Unless you’re competent and can sustain a decent conversation for a while, the Foshan guys will just slip back into Mandarin to overcome any communication or language barriers. That’s the danger.

Unfortunately I haven’t gotten good enough to have a decent conversation without the other person being reasonably patient with me, so even if you are immersed in a place where everyone is speaking Cantonese, you really have to keep learning, going to classes or watching all the Cantonese TV series to try to keep up with it. Moving to Shenzhen has almost killed it for me although they still have the Cantonese TV channels and some people who speak the language.

China Culture Corner: How useful can Cantonese truly be, when Mandarin is the national language?

Jeremy Ryder: I wouldn’t say that Cantonese should necessarily be the national language, but to me Cantonese is ”international Chinese” because ever since Cantonese spread all over the world hundreds of years ago during the gold rush, the language has spread and maintained itself with about 100 million speakers worldwide. In Australia, there are a lot of jobs advertised which require Cantonese. And, no matter where you are in the world, you will always be able to hear Cantonese. It has maintained itself internationally and throughout China, simply because of the number of Cantonese speakers and the fact that native Cantonese speakers know that their language really does have that edge and that power to it.

China Culture Corner: Recently, it’s been reported that many Chinese young people no longer speak the dialects of their parents, including Cantonese. What are your thoughts?

Ghuangzhou locals didn't let their language disappear Jeremy Ryder: This is the saddest thing and the worst possible scenario. When I grew up in Australia, I was friends with the one or two Chinese kids in my classes and I realized very quickly that none of them could speak Chinese or Cantonese at all. Even with surging numbers of Chinese people around the world, the language gets lost through the generations. I think it’s terrible because they’re losing something so valuable. Sure they want to integrate into the societies of Western countries, but I wish they knew how rich and valuable, in cultural terms, their language is.

The same thing is happening in cities in Guangdong province and in Shanghai: the young kids are getting worse at speaking their native dialects. Their parents are encouraging them to answer their phones in Mandarin, and even speak Mandarin to their own kids. This is cultural degradation and must be stopped. Conversely, at one point when there was a plan to exclude Cantonese from the media, the people in Guangzhou made a big fuss and fought to save their language. It really is important to the people in Guangzhou. Guangzhou is where Cantonese originated and is now being maintained, especially in Yuexiu and Liwan and other parts of the city. Of course, it’s not only about the language, but also maintaining other elements of the culture.

China Culture Corner: Do you have any advice for non-Chinese people who are interested in experiencing the Cantonese language and culture?

步行街-1Jeremy Ryder: Keep practicing on a daily basis. Don’t be afraid to speak out and look for opportunities in your life to use it. For example, talk to taxi drivers in Cantonese when you can. Use Cantonese in shops. Get a teacher and pay for classes. But above all, find something within the Cantonese culture that you are passionate about and keep coming back to it for motivation. For me, it’s listening to Cantonese songs that I like, but for others it could be watching TV series, watching movies, finding a Kungfu master to teach you Kungfu in Foshan or Hong Kong. Perhaps you like using Cantonese when shopping in Hong Kong.

It’s a hard language to learn and you’ll probably feel like giving up sometimes, but when that happens, go back to the source of your passion to “refuel.” Get motivated again and then keep going. Let go of western ideas or behaviors and keep an open mind about different aspects of Cantonese culture when you’re talking to the local people. Try not to think of yourself as an outsider in areas where Cantonese is the native tongue. Find as many different ways to learn as possible. Get into the food culture especially by going to the Yumcha restaurants or Cantonese restaurants and ordering in Cantonese.

Thanks for reading!

Do you have any questions about the Cantonese language or culture? Can you share your own experiences learning Cantonese? Please feel free to post your thoughts in the comments section below.

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